Tina ended up moving with her family after 7th grade. She only moved to Braintree but when you are as young and in the city that seems like a million miles away. As close as we were, we ended up loosing touch and I started hanging around with a different crowd, the Southie kids. Samantha became my closest friend in the 8th grade. I stayed at her house a lot and I went camping with her family. But during the summer in between 8th and 9thgrade something in her changed and things got weird between us. I was hanging at the basketball courts and I was seeing Steven a lot. We weren’t together or anything but we flirted and the girlfriend, who I knew nothing about didn’t like this.
I started high school. My parents ended up sending me to an all girl’s catholic high school. At first I was super nervous to go there. I knew almost everyone who was going, but still I was nervous to start there. But things started of smoothly enough. I became really close to Debbie, who I knew from before because we lived on the same as each other forever. I was still sort of seeing the kids from the court too. The whole Steven flirting things came back and bit me in the ass. Samantha ended up telling his girlfriend and her friends all of these things that I said about them, which happened to be untrue. One of these girls I went to school with. These four girls came to Debbie’s house one day after school and asked me come out. I thought because the girl I went to school with was there that they wanted to say hi. They were pissed and one asked me what was going on with me and Steven and the other were going on asking what I said to Samantha about them. I was trying to tell them I said nothing to Samantha about them and then I got punched in the face by three of the girls and then they left. My eye looked horrible.
I asked my mother if I could stay home the next day but she wouldn’t let me. She ended calling my cousin Kerry, who happened to be a nutcase, to let her know what happened. Not too long before this Kerry threw a girl out of a second floor window because she came into her house in the middle of the night and woke her up. She ended up going after a couple of the girls. And then the next day I got to school with my face looking horrible. I had a tendency to make friends with the toughest girls, from the toughest neighborhoods and in high school that was no exception. These girls were pissed when the found out what happened and went after the girl I went to school with.
After school I walk outside and I the other three girls standing outside my school. Now I am thinking that there are here for more trouble but now all my friends are here. And what do each of them do? They start apologizing. I think it was more because they were terrified of Kerry. But whatever. I forgave them and it became water under the bridge. The girl I went to school with became a really good friend of mine.
This is when the little romance began with Donny. I can’t say that it was anything serious but it was my first real “relationship”. We hung at this place called the Little House. Debbie was seeing Marc at this time and we all pretty much hung out at Debbie’s after school and at the Little House at night. Needless to say, Donny and I only lasted as long as freshman year did and we were over before you knew it.
That summer we worked for the City of Boston cleaning up some of the local parks. This was when I met my first real love. I was friends with this girl Tina and she was with a kid named Danny. The two of them were trying to play matchmaker and that was how we ended up together. I had no interest in him before that night and I am sure he had no interest in me either, but someone it worked. By the time school started we were a full blow couple and spent all of our time together. My family loved him and his family loved me. He had a four year old sister and a two year old brother who I babysat for all the time. When his grandmother died his mother asked me to a reading at the funeral and I was invited to all of his family weddings.
Sophomore year was a tough one for all of us. One of our friends shot her self. It is hard for a bunch of 15 year old girls to deal with this kind of thing. We were definitely there to support each other and my school really stepped up to help us deal. We became closer than ever. And it wasn’t that groups got closer, it seemed that the entire class (all 37 of us) became one unit. The funeral was tough but John was there too and we all leaned on each other. Her family gave her a lot of grief because she was going out with another one of our friends who happened to be half black. And she thought that was her only way out I guess. Sixteen years later I still really can't make sense of it.
Stay Tuned
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Beginning
There are so many sides to me, and yes, I am a complex person. And for good reason. There is so much that I have endured and I will continue to overcome the obstacles that I have faced in the last ten years. My journey has not been and easy one and there are days that I still feel like I am never going to make it. There is no use giving up. I have those boys who desperately need me to be there for them. I can’t imagine what would happen to them as they become adults if I just vanished. The one thing that keeps me going is that they need me.
I have always had it pretty good. Dorchester, Massachusetts is my home. I grew up in a very tight knit community. Everyone knew everyone. I got into trouble, but my parents found out not long after. My parents, Jake and Judi. My mother was the epitome of a single mother before Jake came along. She busted her ass taking care of my sister and I after my biological father got deported back to Canada. I was seven and no one really knows what happened, but the story I heard was that he swung a bat at a guy he got in a drunken fight with and hit a two year girl instead. He came back once when his sister, who still lives here, had a heart attach. He gave us a whole 30 minutes of his time and then told us he had to go. That man met someone in Canada, they got married, and he had another little girl. I was so hopeful for him. I thought, "This is his chance to redeem himself". He screwed his second family and did the same exact thing to that little girl that he did to my sister and I. Now I hear he is in Canada strung out on crack.
My mother moved us in an apartment above the pizza shop she worked at because she couldn’t afford a babysitter. I remember her running up to check on us in between customers. She met Jake, who worked for the City of Boston and came into see her all the time. I am not how their whole courtship took place as I was seven years old, but they fell in love and in August 1988 they got married. Jake has been my father since then. He drove me nuts as a teenager, but I love him dearly. He makes my mom happy and she deserves it. He did for us things my mother could have never done alone.
My sister, Tanya, was the baby in the family. She was really little when my father starting messing up. Apparently, I adored her when we were little. We are only fourteen months apart and I think because we spent so much time alone when we were younger that we felt sometimes we only had each other. My sister has been my closest friend throughout my entire life. We got into some pickles being two curious, little girls. My favorite has to be when I sprayed her in the face with my mother’s mace. Or the time that I was jumping on the bunk bed and it collapsed on top of her. Besides those times there have been many times when we were there for each other when the other one needed her to be,.
Growing up in Dorchester was an experience but one that I would love to live again. My best friend in middle school was Tina. We were inseparable for years. She lived one street over from me and we spent all of our time together. Middle school was when I found boys and that was the beginning of the end. It was Steven was first caught my eye. In middle school I was having a hard time with the boys in general. I inherited my mother’s huge chest at eleven years old. I got my period with my Rainbow Bright underwear on and my acne was horrible. I was a middle school boys dream target and they would make fun of me relentlessly. I had a lot of friends, but loyalty with my friends didn’t start until high school.
Steven was this adorable little thing from the projects. He was nice enough and he was super nice when just him and I were hanging out. When other people were around he wasn’t so nice. One day he called my name right before math class was about to begin. I turned around and he is mouthing what looks like "I love you" to me. I was thirteen and thrilled that a boy loved me. So I mouth it back. Him and all his friends start cracking up laughing. "Ha, ha", he says, "I said elephant juice". Mouth elephant juice and you will see what it looks like. I felt so stupid. One of many times during my days at the middle school.
Tina had a thing for Steven’s friend Chris. They were actually a little hot and heavy for us being so young. Christmas came and Tina brings Chris and Steven gold herringbone chains as a Christmas gift. The two of them are thrilled and I am pissed. Who does she think she is giving my boyfriend a Christmas present? Come to find out, when her mother was away she rummaged through the house to find what she got for Christmas. She found the two chains that happen to be her gift and stole them to give them to the boys. The kicker was that she had to ask for the chains back from them. Not for nothing, I smiled a little bit when I found out.
More to come soon!!
I have always had it pretty good. Dorchester, Massachusetts is my home. I grew up in a very tight knit community. Everyone knew everyone. I got into trouble, but my parents found out not long after. My parents, Jake and Judi. My mother was the epitome of a single mother before Jake came along. She busted her ass taking care of my sister and I after my biological father got deported back to Canada. I was seven and no one really knows what happened, but the story I heard was that he swung a bat at a guy he got in a drunken fight with and hit a two year girl instead. He came back once when his sister, who still lives here, had a heart attach. He gave us a whole 30 minutes of his time and then told us he had to go. That man met someone in Canada, they got married, and he had another little girl. I was so hopeful for him. I thought, "This is his chance to redeem himself". He screwed his second family and did the same exact thing to that little girl that he did to my sister and I. Now I hear he is in Canada strung out on crack.
My mother moved us in an apartment above the pizza shop she worked at because she couldn’t afford a babysitter. I remember her running up to check on us in between customers. She met Jake, who worked for the City of Boston and came into see her all the time. I am not how their whole courtship took place as I was seven years old, but they fell in love and in August 1988 they got married. Jake has been my father since then. He drove me nuts as a teenager, but I love him dearly. He makes my mom happy and she deserves it. He did for us things my mother could have never done alone.
My sister, Tanya, was the baby in the family. She was really little when my father starting messing up. Apparently, I adored her when we were little. We are only fourteen months apart and I think because we spent so much time alone when we were younger that we felt sometimes we only had each other. My sister has been my closest friend throughout my entire life. We got into some pickles being two curious, little girls. My favorite has to be when I sprayed her in the face with my mother’s mace. Or the time that I was jumping on the bunk bed and it collapsed on top of her. Besides those times there have been many times when we were there for each other when the other one needed her to be,.
Growing up in Dorchester was an experience but one that I would love to live again. My best friend in middle school was Tina. We were inseparable for years. She lived one street over from me and we spent all of our time together. Middle school was when I found boys and that was the beginning of the end. It was Steven was first caught my eye. In middle school I was having a hard time with the boys in general. I inherited my mother’s huge chest at eleven years old. I got my period with my Rainbow Bright underwear on and my acne was horrible. I was a middle school boys dream target and they would make fun of me relentlessly. I had a lot of friends, but loyalty with my friends didn’t start until high school.
Steven was this adorable little thing from the projects. He was nice enough and he was super nice when just him and I were hanging out. When other people were around he wasn’t so nice. One day he called my name right before math class was about to begin. I turned around and he is mouthing what looks like "I love you" to me. I was thirteen and thrilled that a boy loved me. So I mouth it back. Him and all his friends start cracking up laughing. "Ha, ha", he says, "I said elephant juice". Mouth elephant juice and you will see what it looks like. I felt so stupid. One of many times during my days at the middle school.
Tina had a thing for Steven’s friend Chris. They were actually a little hot and heavy for us being so young. Christmas came and Tina brings Chris and Steven gold herringbone chains as a Christmas gift. The two of them are thrilled and I am pissed. Who does she think she is giving my boyfriend a Christmas present? Come to find out, when her mother was away she rummaged through the house to find what she got for Christmas. She found the two chains that happen to be her gift and stole them to give them to the boys. The kicker was that she had to ask for the chains back from them. Not for nothing, I smiled a little bit when I found out.
More to come soon!!
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